29 October 2012

Book berating.

First of all, apologies for not updating this blog for two whole weeks. I have been utterly swamped by seminar reading, my dissertation and various other third-year woeful occurrences I won't bother boring you with. Phew.

My housemate linked me to this beauty earlier...

(Courtesy of Tickld.com)

Now some people might laugh, find it humorous, or at the very least, allow themselves a cheeky wry smile.

"Oh, look at the puns!" "Ann A. Kupp - ho, ho, ho! Geddit?" "'Enlarged?' Oh my!" etc etc.

And I'm not going to be ridiculous and say it's an insult to women, feminism and the like (because some of the stuff is amusing).

But it quite literally belittles the issue of breast-size.  I'd even go as far to say it mocks those who are small-chested. When I saw the link, the first thing I saw was the main title "The Advantages of Being Small Chested."

Great! I thought, Here's some motivational literature, at last, that celebrates those who aren't the Kim Kardashians of the world.  But then... ah, yes. Here we go - people failing to take the issue seriously... AGAIN.

It's things like this which make my cause pretty difficult. How can girls love themselves when things like this exist? Yes, I know it's a light-hearted joke.  However, how many books do you see that mock women with an average cup size?

Admittedly, magazines and glossies will always gossip about breast augmentations (Does it look natural? Will she get them even BIGGER next time?) but never do they make women feel inferior for it.  And if on the rare occasion, they do, the women who have had the surgery have chosen this.  Women like me, and other small-chested ladies, haven't.

So this kind of literature, as "hilarious" as it is, does unfortunately carry negative consequences with it.

On a positive note, I did a cheeky bit of Google-ing and found this amazing blog page which all small-chested ladies should check out.

I did search for a serious book about advantages but NONE CAME UP. A gap in the market, perhaps?


A massive thanks to "New Adventures of Christine" - good going, girl! I particularly like the illustrations.

Comments welcome!


15 October 2012

High-neck Highnesses

Yes, that just happened.  In my title I have suggested that ladies working their "good things come in small packages" bust are akin to royalty.

I realised I haven't really addressed the "tat" part of my blog title (which is kind of rubbish of me!) so to redeem myself, I am doing just that. Huzzah!

I absolutely ADORE the clothing website Jones and Jones www.jonesandjonesfashion.com 

They are quite pricey but the dresses/skirts are very pretty and I indulged in one for my college Christmas Ball. I got a fair few compliments (which makes the not-so-humble spend justified, obviously)

Anyway, the dress I wore had very high neck.  As in, if my neck and dress were a couple, the combination would have resulted in people yelling "Get a room! Stop being all over each other!"

Basically, it was high.

My more busty companions would not have been able to "work" the dress.  

For one, a size 8 (the size I wore) had literally no room for a bust.  And if I'd have gotten a size up, it probably wouldn't have fit in the right place.  The style of the dress is definitely for a slim, small-busted girl.  My slim but busty friends would have struggled to get the same dress fitting bust-wise and length-wise.

Secondly, it is far less flattering for boobalicious girls to wear high-necked tops.  It looks like their boobs are being suffocated and it makes them look bigger.  And if the torso isn't fitted right, it can have the effect of not distinguishing between bust and stomach, giving them a probably utterly unwelcome weight gain.

Just another thing to celebrate!

Here's an example of one of their b-e-a-utiful dresses, by the way.  If you want to put on a dress and instantly feel fabulous, look no further...

Jones and Jones Disappearing Daisy Dress

(Also, since the bra solutions might be slightly complicated, "small" girls just wouldn't need to wear a bra. Win)

5 October 2012

Reason you don't want a big bust #1

It's me again, this time launching straight into it. Prepare yourselves.

Reason #1 why it's okay to be an A (like the rhyme? There's a reason I do English Lit, y'know)

Drum roll, please!
... You don't have to wear one of these:
(courtesy of "Self", the Icebreaker Merino Rush Bra)

For anyone who doesn't recognise this, it is a SPORTS BRA.

Otherwise known as one of the most unattractive things a woman can wear, along with Spanx, off-white underwear and Crocs (if you have Crocs, please do the decent thing and bin them.  Feel better yet?)

I am slowly recovering from a life-long disease described as "Gym phobia", and I was pleased to discover my endeavors on the cross-trainer would not require purchasing a sports bra.

That is not to say I don't need a bra - running up the stairs "slumming it" in a hoody is still quite painful, even for me - but I don't need strong elastic to contain anything.

The way I see it, my petite bust is practical, and I feel like I should take advantage of this, exercise-wise.  I have no excuse - there's nothing stopping me! And by nothing stopping me, I'm referring to not needing to be afraid of being knocked out by my massive boobs.

On a financial note, this saves me -and anyone else in a similar position - money. I have this very minute just searched "sports bra" on Google, the world's favourite search engine, and the cheapest one I could find was £13 from JD Sports.

I can think of many things I could spent £13 on. A few mocha frappucinos (with squirty cream, of course), or some stationery from Paperchase, or cocktails... the list goes on.

So, my fellow small-chested ladies, why not budget £13 this week, buy something indulgent and be like, "Hey, I have small boobs and I'm just great, so I deserve this diary/cocktail/tasty beverage and I certainly won't have to spend it on a sports bra!"

Or something.

Until next time!

(P.S. I take no responsibility for anyone venturing into their overdraft - spend at your own risk...)

1 October 2012

Check these ladies out for size.

Who says you need cleavage to be considered sexy? Erm... definitely not me.

Here's a little collage I have made with my "Top 10" beautiful, sexy and SMALL-CHESTED celebrities. I have been quite creepy and Google-d their cup sizes... most of them measure in at an A cup, with a few Bs (off the top of my head, I think Cameron, Alexis and Mila are Bs, but don't hold me to it...)

(I take no credit for any of the images, please don't sue me, tumblr people!)

So we've got Keira Knightley, Kate Moss, Cameron Diaz, Kristen Stewart, Emma Watson, Kate Hudson, Emma Stone, Audrey Hepburn, Alexis Bledel and Mila Kunis.

These women are stunning.  Look at them! And they aren't just "girl hot", they are "guy hot" too.  I know plenty of men who think these girls are fiiiiiiiiiiiine, fit, bang tidy, whatever.

Do they (did they, in Audrey's case, RIP) let having a small chest get them down?  Or stop them being successful?  In fact, the question is, are these women any less successful for having a small chest?


And seeing these women on screen, I haven't ever thought, "She's just not as sexy as *insert bigger-boobed celebrity here* because she's less busty" or "She'd look so much better in that outfit if she were a few cup sizes bigger."

Why? Because they have other things going for them.  Whether this be their hair, facial features, legs, bum, voice (Emma Stone's husky voice is so damn sexy!) or personality, you forget they aren't a DD. And to be honest, I don't think it even matters.

Anyway, let this collage be a reminder that bust doesn't equal beauty.  Femininity is something that we own, as girls.  It doesn't manifest itself in fat blobs on your chest.

Be feminine, be free... and don't beat yourself up that you aren't Keira Knightley in that new Chanel advert. Although a girl can dream
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