28 November 2012

Party Prepping.

It's almost December which means... PARTY TIME.

Well, party time for people that aren't in their last year at university and see the festive month as having to do 8000 words worth of essays. Ahem.

Ignoring that major minor obstacle, December means College/Work Balls, get-togethers with friends and family you haven't seen in what feels like forever, and the chance to get very very tipsy and embarrass yourself singing Slade, Cliff Richard and Justin Bieber (don't pretend like you haven't heard "Mistletoe" before).

I'm a sucker for Christmas decorations, especially Christmas lights in towns, and the excuse to bundle myself in everything except a duvet when I'm forced to leave the house...

Sentimentality aside, what really makes the festive season is the dresses! 

I'm personally absolutely loving the gothic, midi and baroque dresses that are in fashion at the moment.  They make a refreshing change from the floral prints which have been around for the last, erm, 3 years or so.  And it forces me to try something a little different.

For the last few years I've stuck to pretty, just above the knee, girly dresses.  But for my upcoming Christmas ball I decided - to hell with it! - I was going to don a bit of pleather and studs, with a bit of gold thrown in (I couldn't throw my girly urges aside entirely ,okay?).  It all sounds like a random mish-mash, but take a look:


As it's from Ark I'm bloody terrified someone will have the same dress as me, so fingers crossed.  I always say it's fine if someone has the same dress, as long as you look better in it, BUT, there's no guarantee.  Girls keep getting prettier every year.

And can I just point out that I practice what I preach! This dress is high-necked and has a low back.  I'm going to borrow my friend's bra extender (technically I don't need to wear a bra, but I don't want to be cold, and it might itch) because I can't be bothered/am now too skint to buy a different bra solution.

But maybe this is TMI - sorry!

I'm going to join the tango club and get a bit of fake tan on, and go for bright red lippy, gold accessories and black wedges. And maybe wear a blazer, because it gets a little chilly at our ball venue.  I like that the dress isn't entirely formal because it'll mean I actually get to wear it more than once. Perfect.

I can't wait to spend quality time with friends in the classy venue of our ball before descending into a rather tipsy state and boogeying on down, wailing along to The Pogues.

So party on, ladies!

10 November 2012

Va Va Voom.

Check me out - I've totally just used a popular culture reference for my post title. Say what you like about my home girl Nicki Minaj, but she knows how to make a bangin' tune.

Anyway, the title is actually very relevant to what I want to discuss today. I didn't just use it for the sake of it, promise.

I'm going to address being SEXY. That's right, small-busted and sexy.  It's not impossible. How do us smaller ladies add a bit of va va voom into our lives (see?)?

Sometimes it is very very difficult when you go out to not be overwhelmed with the ample amount of cleavage on display.  It's everywhere.  As a girl, you can't help being drawn to what you lack, and in my case it's BOOBS.

Sorry, but if they're out on display - everyone can see them. Men and women alike.  It doesn't make me a lesbian, or bi-sexual, it merely means I have the ability of sight.  Your eyes will naturally be drawn those bad boys.

And let's face it - boobs are sexy.  If the majority of ladies want to add oomph, they can just wack out that triple gel push up bra and suddenly, they are Nicki Minaj. Almost.

But it's not the end of the world for us who weren't gifted by the Gods with a C+ cup.  It's really not.  You've just gotta oomph other areas of your appearance and work it.  Here's what I recommend:
  1. Have plain but luscious hair? Make it BIG.  Use an amazing leave-in conditioner to make it super shiny and then attack it with the curlers/straighteners/whatever gives it volume.  And hairspray it to death. Ta-da!
  2. As discussed here, small-busted women can get away with high-necked clothes.  If you want to add a bit of "wow factor" to your outfit, why not dare to bare and invest in a low-backed dress?  Modest and conservative at the front, but oh, would you look at that?  Bringing sexy BACK.
  3. Got killer legs?  Get 'em out.  Yes, I know it's November and it's cold and you probably don't fancy shaving but how committed to being sexy are you?  Do it.  And don't forget to moisturise.  The flaky leg look will never be in fashion and it's sure as hell not sexy.
  4. If, unlike me, you're a bit of a wizz with the old make up brush, take the time to make your eyes POP.  Make them dazzle.  Hypnotise people with your eyes and they won't be looking for your boobs, trust me.
  5. Bodycon.  Possibly the most obvious choice.  Skin-tight clothing doesn't tend to leave much to the imagination.  Also, this type of thing is good for gals like me who have a bit of a ghetto booty.  Work your lady lumps!
Also, as cheesy as it sounds, SMILE.  A bright smile oozes confidence, and confidence is sexy.  Believe in yourself and allow yourself to be sexy.  When you're out clubbing, request a song that makes you feel sexy and absolutely rock it.  My preference is anything by Jason Derulo.  Honestly.  Whatever happened to that man?  Oh, well.

At the end of the day, sexy can be what you make it.  Take a good look at yourself, find something you can enhance, and voila!  Who needs breast enhancements when you've got other things going on anyway?

Now run along, you sexy young things.  Don't blame me if you get any unwanted attention!

7 November 2012

"YOLO" - a no no?

This is an issue that has been on my mind for about a week now.

You know how I said in my first post that my blog would also be privy to my general wonderings?  Well, here goes.

YOLO. It's everywhere. Whether it's hashtagged on twitter, moaned about on facebook, plastered on t-shirts (yes, I have seen them, they do exist), there's no escaping the "YOLO" craze.

For those who have been hiding under a hole for the last year or so, YOLO is an acronym for "You Only Live Once."  Spoken aloud, it's pronounced like "Polo" but with a "Y", obviously.

The thing is, shouting out "YOLO!" has become taboo. Suddenly, this seemingly laissez-faire, "I don't give a flying pig's bum" mantra, when typed or spoken in a non-ironic way, is something to be sneered at.

"YOLO? Oh my God, you did not just say that. How chavvy."

Or even a simple yet effective "Shut up." With maybe some expletives thrown in for good measure.

In a linguistic sense, maybe the "o" assonance hits to close to home with yobbish chants.  After all, you never hear anyone say "YOLO" quietly. It's always shouted - it's brash and loud.

The problem is, people use this mantra to do stupid, sometimes even dickish (sorry mother) things.  They use it as an excuse. 

Drank too much and threw up over some innocent bystanders? "YOLO!"

Snogging 6 girls in one night? "YOLO!"

Starting a fight with someone who's given you beef? "YOLO!"

Somewhere, somehow, the meaning behind the mantra has gotten lost.  It's latin, more sophisticated equivalent - if you like - is "Carpe Diem", or "Seize the day."

Has anyone ever used that in a pejorative sense?  No.  Carpe Diem is always equated with doing inspiration things, living your life to the max, etc.

The point is, I went a bit "YOLO" crazy the other week on Halloween.  I usually dress quite modestly, but this year I decided, Screw it, I'm going to wear tight clothing and yes, my bum will be out for the world to see.  After all, YOLO!

Now, saying that does not make me a chav.  I don't believe simply saying YOLO should categorise a person as yobbish, pathetic and likely to do stupid things.  That is the category I was immediately put into, and I was looked down upon for it.  Tutting ensued.  I could have said "Carpe Diem" but I didn't.  So sue me!

Will this stop me saying YOLO?  Hell no.

You really do only live once.  Why should anyone be punished for pointing this fact out?  Yes, some people do exploit this, but people will always exploit things! That, my friends, is human nature.

But if a girl wants to throw caution to the wind, wear those almost indecent leggings and have a good time, let her "YOLO" away her night away in peace.
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