21 March 2015

We need to stop allowing other people to make us doubt our decisions


Okay guys, it's time for another motivational post. It's a long'un, so get comfortable.

I've finished up at Style and now I'm at the "okay, now what?" stage. Which I hate, because as long as I have things planned, I don't have to think too much about my life and the direction it's headed.

But all of a sudden, my two weeks are up. And they were amazing, because Style is an amazing publication and lives up to the hype (believe me). The team were lovely and welcoming, and my experience was ace. I also like to think I gave it my all and I hopefully left a good, lasting impression. Fingers crossed, eh?

I have another internship lined up in a few weeks, but I'm worried that soon my intern time will be up, and I will have rinsed it for all it's worth. Because to get into the beauty journo biz you need two things on your side: luck, and good timing. Both of which seem to evade me. 

I was asked by someone the other day something which constantly plays on my mind, but I always push it away. And that question was "How long are you going to give it?" As in, "How long are you going to give it until you give up, or move on?" And I spluttered something that probably sounded like "ummnyuhhhnotsure" like the eloquent lady I am.

The thing is, I don't know. In reality, I need to be interning and *present* to be considered or put forward for a role. Do I just do them all again and repeat myself over and over until I'm 30 and grey with anticipation? It does haunt me. I understand that interns are a dime a dozen, with a new one ready to take your place for 2 weeks/a month, so it's often a case of out of sight, out of mind. I'm sure my name will be forgotten almost instantly, referred to as "our last intern."

It's enough to make me want to cry and give up, and go back to applying for junior copywriter positions (all of which I've been rejected for, by the way) because it's more "realistic", more "achievable".

Maybe I should get my head out of the clouds, and get real, and stop trying to get a job that only about 20 other people in the UK have.

Gee Sofie, there's nothing like setting yourself up for a fail. As if PR wasn't competitive enough, as if editorial wasn't competitive enough... Oh no, you want to get into beauty journalism, possibly one of the hardest careers ever. Darwin's "survival of the fittest" has never been more relevant, except maybe it should be adapted to "survival of the stubborn". Haha.

So yes, life is still hard, but at least I'm now living somewhere that I don't have to pay rent. My main outgoings are travel and the token foods I refuse to let my grandma buy (I'm looking at you, Alpro soya and Lacto-free beauties).

I'm not ready to give up or move on. I'm just not. People might consider me stupid, crazy, irrational... And maybe I am. In fact, I'm pretty sure I am! 

All I know is when I stand outside these publication houses on the first day of each internship, I'm filled with so much happiness and excitement that I feel like I might burst. I feel a bit giddy and light-headed, and as I get on the phones, and hear a chatter around me about upcoming features and shoots and people name-dropping famous celebs, I smile inside. I feel like it's where I should be. I feel like it's where I want to be.

Sure, when people visit luxurious country houses and walk around Selfridges, I'm sure they're like "Yep, I could get used to this. This is me all over." I know that when my Mum and I used to do our little spa days or weekends at converted manors or whatever, I was loathe to leave. I feel like this is different, because it's a career. Maybe.

But when someone asked me "How long will you give it?", it got to me.

What I'm trying to say is: don't let other people tell you what you should be doing. Don't let other people make you doubt your path. Don't let other people make you question the decisions that have lead you to where you are at this moment. Okay, so some of those decisions may have been a little stupid or reckless, but you made those decisions once upon a time, and you made them for a reason. So stand by them and respect the past.

Stand up for yourself, and what you believe makes you happy. Be who you want to be, not someone else's version of you. Do what's best for you, and remind yourself every day that what you're doing is on your terms. And be okay with it. It's scary and can be very isolating, sure. But you're not getting any younger.

When I'm interning, I wake up in the morning and feel like I'm getting a bit closer to my dream. Just a smidge. But that smidge will eventually turn into an inch, and I plan to inch my way towards my goal.


(Wouldn't it be hilarious if next week I changed my mind? But hey, it's my life, and that's all that matters).

Images all courtesy of We Heart It.
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10 comments

  1. Loved this post Sofie! I love your honesty but also your hopefulness and your determination, and I really hope it all pays off for you soon! x

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  2. Sofie-Eliza Price21 March 2015 at 11:27

    Thanks so much, Rowan! I really hope it pays off, too ;)

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  3. needed this! also, with your attitude and the fact that you are not ready to give up or move on already sifts you from the rest. i'm sure you'll succeed in time! i'll be keeping an eye out for you in the glossy mags in a few years time ;) xo

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  4. Great post! I think society in general just expects everyone to have their lives planned out to the minute, and that we all know where we're going to be in 5, 10 years time. The truth is that no one knows, and in reality you have to just take it as it comes, and a lot of the time, things work out for the best anyway.

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  5. I really enjoyed reading this post. As someone currently struggling to decide what I want to do career wise post uni, this was such a lovely read - having a goal is such a valuable, valuable thing and you are right that no one should deter you from it. I am 100% sure your determination will pay off. Most people don't get to where you want to be because they give up early - if it is what you want, definitely stick it out!!

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  6. Sofie-Eliza Price22 March 2015 at 18:40

    Thanks Anna! Making any decisions about your career is never simple, I feel your pain. I appreciate your support :)

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  7. Sofie-Eliza Price22 March 2015 at 18:41

    Thanks Charlotte! Don't you just hate society? Hoping it works out for the best, and keeping everything crossed.

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  8. Sofie-Eliza Price22 March 2015 at 18:42

    Thanks Pip! Oh I'm so glad this was posted at a time when you felt like you needed it :) Ha, your optimism inspires me!

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  9. Hi Sofie, I found this post through Carla at Blush Parade and I really enjoyed reading about your personal experience dealing with doubters. I really admire you following your dream, the fact that your doing something about it rather than just thinking about it speaks volumes.



    I'm also pursuing my own goals, sometimes people may doubt you or raise their eyebrows but the most important thing is to believe in ourselves and do what makes us happy, like you said :)

    Hanh x | hanhabelle

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  10. Sofie-Eliza Price18 April 2015 at 18:30

    Hiya! I hate the cynical eyebrow raisers of the world. Thank you for your kind words :)

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